Sansa Stark was a damsel in distress and a lovey-dovey little lady who wanted to live in a fairy tale land where her prince in shining armor would come for her and make her the queen.
But life came for Sansa and showed her a tragedy and growth that we as a Game of Thrones lover don’t always appreciate.
She (Sansa) was about to marry a king (Joffrey), then moved down to a lord (Tyrion), and finally married a bastard (Ramsay) who abused and tortured her and gave her a life she had never imagined. She had to change from a damsel in distress looking for her prince to a strong and fierce woman who actually had to think about what she did and the consequences of her actions.
What does she teach that’s unique? Well, from the statement mentioned earlier, it’s obvious that it’s about how life isn’t what you imagine it will be—unless you do something to make it the way you want. Whenever Sansa wanted something, she expected it to be given to her by the universe. But in reality, she got what she wanted only after she started thinking—only after she started making the decisions that were necessary. This, she only learned after her marriage with Ramsay.
She wanted to leave King’s Landing after the death of her father, but she didn’t actively do the work that would make her leaving possible. She expected others to find the solution. But in her defense, she was kind of an open prisoner of the Lannisters, so it was difficult.
However, she knew that playing a hopeless and clueless girl around Ramsay Bolton would only get her killed soon enough. So, she acted—and with the help of Theon (Reek, by then), she managed to run away from Ramsay at the right time and go to Jon. Again, when they had to get Rickon back from Ramsay, she and Jon plotted a war against him. But she knew how Ramsay’s mind worked and didn’t want to stay idle and let both Jon (with his army of Wildlings and a few other houses) and Rickon die. So, she acted. She reached out to Littlefinger and Robyn Arryn for the army of the Vale. This knowledge came from learning from her past mistakes and actively working to create the best situation for herself and the people she loved.
I haven’t read the Game of Thrones books, but I’ve watched the TV series—quite a lot of times, might I add. So, I’m only talking about Sansa from the HBO series.
Let’s break down Sansa’s journey throughout the 8 seasons of the Game of Thrones series. Wanted to stop at 6, judging how bad the last 2 seasons were—but still, they’re canon, so here we go.
Season 1 – The Princess Dream
Theme: Naivety and idealism shattered by cruelty.
When the Series starts sansa is an naive girl. She’s a soft-spoken, polite girl who’s obsessed with royalty. She believes in songs and happy endings. When, King Robert’s family travel From Kings Landing to winder Fell, the young prince Joffery is with them. Sansa knows he’s coming with them and has a crush on the soon-to-be king even before she sees him. She has a love at first sight immediately after seeing Joffery. She has dreams and knows (atleast at that point of time) that marrying Joffery will make her every dream come true.
At that point we know that she’s soft spoken and polite but not a kind person. She was always to Jon because he was a bastard, she didn’t quite like arya that much. And, always wish to leave winterfell as soon as possible. Ironical in hindsight.
The first right turn for sansa comes when She and Joffery are strolling around while travelling from Winterfell to Kings landing. They come across Arya and a Butcher’s boy, Mycah practicing sword fighting.
That is the point where everything starts to unravel for Sansa. Joffrey threatens the butcher’s boy, and to protect him, Arya and her direwolf, Nymeria, attack Joffrey. As a result, Arya had to let go of Nymeria, Sansa’s direwolf, Lady, had to be killed, and the innocent butcher’s boy, Mycah, had to die.
From that point on, Sansa kind of started kind of hating Joffrey but had to pretend to like and respect him. The final straw came when Joffrey kills Sansa’s father, despite promising to let go of Ned if he apologized. After that, all Sansa did was pretend to be loyal to Joffrey to stay alive and ended the first season isolated and traumatized in King’s Landing.
Season 2 – The Silent Prisoner
Theme: Endurance through humiliation and fear
Throughout the season, she was publicly humiliated and emotionally abused by Joffrey multiple times. There seemed to be no way out for her. Due to the potential that she could end up like her father (on a pike), she always kept her head down and began to learn to hide her emotions.
The only good thing about the season—or the only positive signal—was that Tyrion was the one who showed her some mercy. He offered some protection as the Hand of the King.
The Sansa we knew in Season 1 was just dreaming. However, she stopped dreaming and just did whatever was needed to survive.
Season 3 – The Puppet Bride
Theme: Powerlessness in the game of power
As Season 3 rolls around, things get worse for Sansa. She was forced to marry Tyrion by the Hand of the King, Tywin. Both Sansa and Tyrion didn’t want this marriage, but Tywin tried to make both of them pawns and gain a hold on Winterfell through the marriage. It was strictly a political move in which Sansa had no say.
At this point, Sansa had begun to see how harsh life could be. From dreaming of marrying a king and becoming the queen of the Seven Kingdoms, she was now the wife of a dwarf who was just a lord. Sansa had started to lose all the joy and expectations of happiness that her life could have brought.
But this wasn’t the worst yet. Soon after, she gets news that her mother and elder brother, Catelyn and Robb, were killed at the Red Wedding. Her world grew darker—but she was still trying to hold herself together.
Season 4 – First Steps of Rebellion
Theme: Awakening and self-preservation
Season 4 brought a small light at the end of the tunnel in Sansa’s life. The death of the much-hated King Joffrey was a left turn Sansa hadn’t expected. When the opportunity came, she fled King’s Landing with Littlefinger, abandoning all the hope she had in King’s Landing and running away to the Vale for protection.
By this time, we can see that Sansa had learned some deception from Cersei, Littlefinger, and gained some knowledge from people in King’s Landing. She showed this transformation when she protected Littlefinger. By the end of the season, she was no longer just a victim—she knew that she needed to do something if she wanted to be happy or do something meaningful. She was not a damsel in Distress. However she was not that powerful too.
Season 5 – The Nightmare Marriage
Theme: The fall into darkness.
When everything seemed to get better, Season 5 brought unexpected problems into Sansa’s life. Sansa was again married off to the sadistic Ramsay Bolton, and she was oblivious to his nature.
Ramsay was absolutely the worst for Sansa. She faced yet another betrayal from the man who claimed to protect her and only abused her. Even after marrying her, he abused her physically, mentally, and sexually. She was at the lowest point in her life. There, Sansa’s dream of becoming a queen was completely dead. Now, she was the wife of a bastard lord who had captured her homeland and tortured her.
The only good thing from Season 5 was that she was able to run away from Ramsay with the help of Theon (Reek)
Season 6/7/8 – Rebirth in Fire and Snow
Theme: Taking back power.
Season 6 was the first ever season when we could be happy for Sansa. She was reunited with Jon for the first time since Season 1. She had learned a lot throughout the years of horrible relationships, fairytales, and betrayal. Finally, Jon was someone she could fully trust.
With his help, she drew a plan to take back Winterfell from Ramsay. She even outsmarted Ramsay, got help from the Knights of the Vale, and helped Jon win the Battle of the Bastards. She got her revenge on Ramsay and became the Lady of Winterfell.
Soon enough, she learned to be smarter and sharper. She eventually killed off Littlefinger with Arya’s help and later became the Queen in the North.
Final Reflection
Throughout the series, Sansa had quite a journey. She was a small little girl who wanted to become a queen because it sounded pretty. But in the end, she actually became a queen because the people needed her and because she was capable.
She was promised a prince, was married to a kind but unwanted lord, and then got abused by a sadistic bastard—no pun intended. She actually learned how harsh life can be and got the bitter end of it. If you think about it, some sense in the first season could have prevented a lot of trouble for her, but she faced what she faced. Throughout her journey, she lost family, freedom, and her innocence—but later gained strength, vision, and loyalty.
Sansa’s story isn’t just about survival—it’s about becoming something more than the world expected of you.
Whenever we talk about Game of Thrones and the depth of the characters, we always seem to be missing Sansa. But was Sansa the best to rule in Game of Thrones? Or did someone else deserve the North?